I thought I had it all figured out when I turned in my keys and walked out of the building that housed the job that I loved for twenty years. I actually worked there for 20 years and six months, but the last six months were not my favorite. For months after that, people always asked if I was retired and for some strange reason that made the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. Was I really “retirement” age? Was that my cue to buy the knitting needles and get the plaid tufted pillow for my rocking chair? What else was there to do every morning since I was not required to check into the office with my Starbucks in one hand and lunch cooler in the other? Well now that I can look back on this last year, I have reflected on the steps that have placed me squarely in the “Re-fire” zone with nothing but the heat in front of me and flames on my tail.

  1. The very first thing I did on my first “non-working day” was absolutely nothing. In fact, I did nothing for seven whole days. I slept late, ate at odd times of the day, and put on clothes with no foundation! Speaking of foundation, I didn’t even touch a make-up brush. The only brush that I held in my hands was my toothbrush. That was a brush that I was not going to let go. This was my decompression period. I had to shake off all the old habits so that my head could be cleared for step number two. I had no idea how much “stuff” was in my head just sitting there and taking up space for no reason. It’s almost like letting the air out of an overfilled balloon and watching it fly aimlessly through the air then finally falling limp to the ground. That was me. Step number 1, DECOMPRESS.
  2. After I felt all of the old work dust was cleared out, it was time to let my mind take flight. I began to systematically think of all the things that gave me pleasure. That little activity took more time than I expected. I thought that would be simple, but the pleasure thoughts didn’t flow into my mind as easily as I thought they would. I soon discovered that I had suppressed them for so long that only the things that gave me a surface smile would come to mind. No, that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to sum up all the things that made me feel good in my gut. The things that gave me energy when I was totally drained. My personal “happy place”. It took days and lots of coffee and lunch dates with friends, but one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I absolutely LOVED sharing information about relationships with people. I got the most energized when I was presenting. I NEEDED an audience! Step number 2, FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE.
  3. Now that I knew the location of my “happy place”, I needed to figure out how to get there and stay there. Here is where the lights started blinking and juices started to flow. There must have been a light because all of a sudden people were coming to me asking for relationship advise. I even had a couple of friends who sent complete strangers to me for relationship advise. I didn’t see the light, but clearly someone did. My juices began to flow just the same. These were energy juices of course because I was up all times of the night expanding my knowledge base on the subject of my passion, relationships. I couldn’t get enough, and the universe kept feeding me. Step three became very clear; recognize the opportunities to grow your passion. When you recognize the passion, the opportunities will open up and you should step right into them. It’s so easy to assign excuses to what are really opportunities to grow into your passion. Don’t do that! Step number 3, RECOGNIZE THE OPPORTUNITIES.
  4. Before I knew it, I was busy just like I had a paying job. People were offering to pay me to sit with them and their partners to work through their challenges. There was no way I was going to accept money but there was also no way I could say no to helping them. The more I fed my knowledge base, the more I was called on to share what I learned. That’s when step four came into play. THE PLAN. One day as I sipped my favorite Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino while chatting with a friend, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I will give people the tools that will enrich their relationships and I will do it in small groups. Right then and there the PLAN was created. I don’t know if my heart beat faster because of all that caffeine or from the excitement of creating the PLAN. All I know is, I was fired up and I needed to write it all down before I come down from this high. Caffeine or natural, the energy poured from my head to my hand. It was surreal. Step number 4, CREATE THE PLAN.
  5. The last step is where I currently reside and has two parts. Of course, you probably guessed that step five is executing the plan. Everything that I wrote while sipping on that caffeine laced drink and all that I have added to it, makes the PLAN a living document and gives me life. The FIRE…the “Re-FIRE” is in the B part of this step. Part B is simply going back to step number two in your mind’s eye and recalling the very thing that makes your toes curl, the thing that makes your heart skip a beat, the thing that makes you smile from the inside out. The place that makes you happy, your happy place. That visit to step number two might have to be a daily visit and that’s okay. Know that every time you hit a setback, every time someone puts doubt in your head, or every time you just get weary, you need to go back to step two. Step number 5, EXECUTE THE PLAN.

In this last year, I have had to reach back to step number two more times than I can count. Each time, it never fails, I get my “Re-Fire” back and my flames burn up everything behind me. At one point I had to write my step number two on my bathroom mirror, on my car dash, and even as a screen saver on my laptop, but not anymore. I feel that fire right now as I type this, and I dare anyone to try and put it out. The funny thing is, since I’ve harnessed that fire, it keeps me feeling warm even when things around me seem cold. I attribute it to knowing my happy place and how to get there quickly when I need to.

I’m so fortunate that I get to bring that “Re-Fire” into every workshop that we offer at Tri Team Unlimited. We have the most spirited and passionate team of facilitators that implement workshops enrich relationships. They care deeply about the topics and the couples. You don’t have to feel stuck in your intimate relationship. Check out the topics that we offer and discover how we can help. Change your relationship – change your life. Check out the website to see what’s coming up next. www.TriTeamUnlimited.com.